Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sane Parent - Keep it Calm

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One of the best gifts we can give our children is the gift of calm. Raising kids is tough. Life, our kids, lack of sleep can all contribute to us loosing our sense of balance. Doing our best to remain calm helps our kids feel safe and keeps us focused on the issues at hand. Removing ourselves from the situation for just a moment or two can save us. Try a couple of these tools for calming down.

1. STOP for one minute and do some deep breathing.

2. Take a walk around the block, do some jumping jacks, lift some weights. Use 5 minutes of exercise to push some of that anger out of your body.

3. Talk yourself off the ledge. Sometimes the words in our head get in our way instead of helping us. Talk yourself down. Use statements like, "It's going to be okay." "Ill just calm down and then go back to the kids."

4. Give yourself a time out. Just get out of the situation for a minute. Give yourself some space. Sometimes that's all you need.

Try these simple reminders for keeping yourself calm and see how it goes.


Do you have a tool that pulls you down and keeps you centered? Share it in the comments section! No registrtion needed!

Have a great week and enjoy those kids!

Maria

Smart Parent - A Purpose for Thankfulness

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Check out this article A Purpose for Thankfulness.

Have a great week!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Smart Parent - The L & L Method

Imagine this. Your child comes home with the dilemma of the day. You know, often they come home and it is "The best day EVER!" But its the "Worst day EVER!" that can get us in trouble. They come home and they need to talk, but what do we want to do?

1. Sometimes we just don't want to listen at all. We shut them out, listen with one ear while we busy ourselves around the house. But know this. They KNOW we aren't listening.

2. Sometimes we kick into problem solving mode. All we focus on is how we can make the problem go away. "Well, honey, what did you do to contribute to what happened?" or "Why don't you....?"

But sometimes all we need, and by "we" that can also mean our kids, is someone to listen to us with a little bit of love. The next time your child comes home unloading a tearful mess of childhood angst on you, try the L & L method. Just listen and offer love, give them a hug or hold them as they tell their story and when they are finished, tell them that you love them. Tell them you are sorry for what happened. That's it. Sometimes, we just need to have someone listen and be compassionate. So simple, but so effective. Give this simple strategy a go and see how it works for you.

Remember to enjoy those little ones. They grow so fast!

Maria

Monday, November 10, 2008

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Smart Parents - Pick One for Change

If you are looking to make things better in your home, and what parent isn't, take on one thing at a time. You want your kids to stop leaving things all around the house, want them making their beds? Pick one thing and work it, consistently, for a couple of weeks. Remind, remind, remind. Firm is fine, but nagging is useless. Use this tool from, How to Talk to your kids so they'll listen and listen so they will talk.

Use simple, short directives with no editorial!

"Billy, remember your lunch for school. Billy, your lunch."

Don't fall into nagging and adding comments that cloud the task.

"Billy, you never remember your lunch, you are so forgetful, I am sick of reminding you!"

Although a natural response to frustration, it doesn't help your child and it doesn't get the job done.

Simple one line responses are what will work. Pick one change you want in your household with your child and work it with consistency and short directives. You will get there a lot quicker!

Have a great week!

Maria