New Year's is a great time to chat with your child about the year and their many accomplishments. Teach them to look at this time of year as an opportunity to look at all the amazing things they have achieved in the past 12 months. And there are many, I am sure. It is also a perfect time to talk about setting goals for the year. Looking at what they would like to accomplish, where they would like to go and how they want to make it all happen. Why not empower our kids to look at their achievements and point them in the direction of their newest goals?
Happy New Year and remember the value of your every contribution!
Maria
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Kind Kids - Holiday Giving
The holidays are a great time to model altruism to your kids. Look for the opportunity to show your kids how to share, not just their stuff, but yours as well. Reach into your pocket to donate, look for volunteering opportunities, teach your children, through your example, what it means to give. This will go farther than a thousand lectures. Try teaching giving by example. Link your behavior to the value of giving, so your kids can understand and see where they take it!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Kind Kids - Kid Contribution
I will tell you what. It is so easy for me to "do" for my kids. Easy to make that bed, tuck away those toys, clean up that bathroom. We all know why. It takes too long and too much work to teach them over and over and over. Ugh! I guess you probably kmow where I am going with this. Yes, we all know we have to do the "hard" thing and stick with it for our kids and keep teaching them. They need to learn, right? That is true, but that's not my point today. When we take the time to teach our kids and expect them to contribute to their world, we do much more than teach them to make their beds.
We begin to teach them that their contribution matters. The clean bathroom, the cleared dishes are all part of their contribution to the world. We teach them not only that they are loved, but that what they bring to the world means something. We start to set into play a value that honors the mindset of contributing to community. What a gift for our children, that they can impact this world, that what they have to offer means something. In the days to come, remember the importance of sticking to teaching our kids the value of contribution. Small steps. Be patient and envelop them in your love and appreciation when they contribute and see what happens!
Ask about my coaching for parents!
We begin to teach them that their contribution matters. The clean bathroom, the cleared dishes are all part of their contribution to the world. We teach them not only that they are loved, but that what they bring to the world means something. We start to set into play a value that honors the mindset of contributing to community. What a gift for our children, that they can impact this world, that what they have to offer means something. In the days to come, remember the importance of sticking to teaching our kids the value of contribution. Small steps. Be patient and envelop them in your love and appreciation when they contribute and see what happens!
Ask about my coaching for parents!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Bonding - Fill the Bank
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There are so many things we have to do as families to keep them running. Driving to this event and that. Homework. Doctor's appointments. Discipline. All of those things take effort. Although they pay off in the end, they can wear on us and deplete our resolve.
Our best defence? Fill the bank. Not with money, either. Okay, money is good, but not what I am talking about here. Fill the bank with quality family time. Quality family time is about being together and enjoying each other with intention. It doesn't have to be an all day event. Sometimes a few minutes together can do the trick when you need to fill the bank. Consider all the little moments you can create to fill your family's bank and do it. See how great it feels!
Have a great day. Remember I am available for coaching for parents! Contact me here for more info.
There are so many things we have to do as families to keep them running. Driving to this event and that. Homework. Doctor's appointments. Discipline. All of those things take effort. Although they pay off in the end, they can wear on us and deplete our resolve.
Our best defence? Fill the bank. Not with money, either. Okay, money is good, but not what I am talking about here. Fill the bank with quality family time. Quality family time is about being together and enjoying each other with intention. It doesn't have to be an all day event. Sometimes a few minutes together can do the trick when you need to fill the bank. Consider all the little moments you can create to fill your family's bank and do it. See how great it feels!
Have a great day. Remember I am available for coaching for parents! Contact me here for more info.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sane Parent - Keep it Calm
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One of the best gifts we can give our children is the gift of calm. Raising kids is tough. Life, our kids, lack of sleep can all contribute to us loosing our sense of balance. Doing our best to remain calm helps our kids feel safe and keeps us focused on the issues at hand. Removing ourselves from the situation for just a moment or two can save us. Try a couple of these tools for calming down.
1. STOP for one minute and do some deep breathing.
2. Take a walk around the block, do some jumping jacks, lift some weights. Use 5 minutes of exercise to push some of that anger out of your body.
3. Talk yourself off the ledge. Sometimes the words in our head get in our way instead of helping us. Talk yourself down. Use statements like, "It's going to be okay." "Ill just calm down and then go back to the kids."
4. Give yourself a time out. Just get out of the situation for a minute. Give yourself some space. Sometimes that's all you need.
Try these simple reminders for keeping yourself calm and see how it goes.
Do you have a tool that pulls you down and keeps you centered? Share it in the comments section! No registrtion needed!
Have a great week and enjoy those kids!
Maria
One of the best gifts we can give our children is the gift of calm. Raising kids is tough. Life, our kids, lack of sleep can all contribute to us loosing our sense of balance. Doing our best to remain calm helps our kids feel safe and keeps us focused on the issues at hand. Removing ourselves from the situation for just a moment or two can save us. Try a couple of these tools for calming down.
1. STOP for one minute and do some deep breathing.
2. Take a walk around the block, do some jumping jacks, lift some weights. Use 5 minutes of exercise to push some of that anger out of your body.
3. Talk yourself off the ledge. Sometimes the words in our head get in our way instead of helping us. Talk yourself down. Use statements like, "It's going to be okay." "Ill just calm down and then go back to the kids."
4. Give yourself a time out. Just get out of the situation for a minute. Give yourself some space. Sometimes that's all you need.
Try these simple reminders for keeping yourself calm and see how it goes.
Do you have a tool that pulls you down and keeps you centered? Share it in the comments section! No registrtion needed!
Have a great week and enjoy those kids!
Maria
Smart Parent - A Purpose for Thankfulness
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Check out this article A Purpose for Thankfulness.
Have a great week!
Check out this article A Purpose for Thankfulness.
Have a great week!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Smart Parent - The L & L Method
Imagine this. Your child comes home with the dilemma of the day. You know, often they come home and it is "The best day EVER!" But its the "Worst day EVER!" that can get us in trouble. They come home and they need to talk, but what do we want to do?
1. Sometimes we just don't want to listen at all. We shut them out, listen with one ear while we busy ourselves around the house. But know this. They KNOW we aren't listening.
2. Sometimes we kick into problem solving mode. All we focus on is how we can make the problem go away. "Well, honey, what did you do to contribute to what happened?" or "Why don't you....?"
But sometimes all we need, and by "we" that can also mean our kids, is someone to listen to us with a little bit of love. The next time your child comes home unloading a tearful mess of childhood angst on you, try the L & L method. Just listen and offer love, give them a hug or hold them as they tell their story and when they are finished, tell them that you love them. Tell them you are sorry for what happened. That's it. Sometimes, we just need to have someone listen and be compassionate. So simple, but so effective. Give this simple strategy a go and see how it works for you.
Remember to enjoy those little ones. They grow so fast!
Maria
1. Sometimes we just don't want to listen at all. We shut them out, listen with one ear while we busy ourselves around the house. But know this. They KNOW we aren't listening.
2. Sometimes we kick into problem solving mode. All we focus on is how we can make the problem go away. "Well, honey, what did you do to contribute to what happened?" or "Why don't you....?"
But sometimes all we need, and by "we" that can also mean our kids, is someone to listen to us with a little bit of love. The next time your child comes home unloading a tearful mess of childhood angst on you, try the L & L method. Just listen and offer love, give them a hug or hold them as they tell their story and when they are finished, tell them that you love them. Tell them you are sorry for what happened. That's it. Sometimes, we just need to have someone listen and be compassionate. So simple, but so effective. Give this simple strategy a go and see how it works for you.
Remember to enjoy those little ones. They grow so fast!
Maria
Monday, November 10, 2008
Smart Parent - Compass Help - Guiding Our Kids
Check out this recently published article at Tutor/Mentor Connection of Chicago.
Compass Help -By Maria Murphy
Compass Help -By Maria Murphy
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Smart Parents - Pick One for Change
If you are looking to make things better in your home, and what parent isn't, take on one thing at a time. You want your kids to stop leaving things all around the house, want them making their beds? Pick one thing and work it, consistently, for a couple of weeks. Remind, remind, remind. Firm is fine, but nagging is useless. Use this tool from, How to Talk to your kids so they'll listen and listen so they will talk.
Use simple, short directives with no editorial!
"Billy, remember your lunch for school. Billy, your lunch."
Don't fall into nagging and adding comments that cloud the task.
"Billy, you never remember your lunch, you are so forgetful, I am sick of reminding you!"
Although a natural response to frustration, it doesn't help your child and it doesn't get the job done.
Simple one line responses are what will work. Pick one change you want in your household with your child and work it with consistency and short directives. You will get there a lot quicker!
Have a great week!
Maria
Use simple, short directives with no editorial!
"Billy, remember your lunch for school. Billy, your lunch."
Don't fall into nagging and adding comments that cloud the task.
"Billy, you never remember your lunch, you are so forgetful, I am sick of reminding you!"
Although a natural response to frustration, it doesn't help your child and it doesn't get the job done.
Simple one line responses are what will work. Pick one change you want in your household with your child and work it with consistency and short directives. You will get there a lot quicker!
Have a great week!
Maria
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Smart Parent - Maria's articles from Indy's Child Magazine
Check out this series of parenting articles I have written for Indy's Child, Atlanta Parent and All About Families.
These articles include tools for decision making, listening, task completion and confidence building!
Click here for a list of recent articles.
Enjoy these articles and remember to enjoy your kids!
Maria
These articles include tools for decision making, listening, task completion and confidence building!
Click here for a list of recent articles.
Enjoy these articles and remember to enjoy your kids!
Maria
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Smart Parent - Chicago's Tutor Mentor Connection Column Articles
Take a look at the different mentoring articles available for mentors and teachers listed below.
From Compliment to Confidence
The Power of Active Listening
Organize your student for success in only minutes!
Mentor Rap?
Be the voice in their heads
The 30 Second Transition
The Key to Connectedness
Slowwww Dowwwwwn
Promises Kept
The Study Hygiene Replay
From Compliment to Confidence
The Power of Active Listening
Organize your student for success in only minutes!
Mentor Rap?
Be the voice in their heads
The 30 Second Transition
The Key to Connectedness
Slowwww Dowwwwwn
Promises Kept
The Study Hygiene Replay
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